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“How beautifully you are learning the art of surrender.  The courage to let go in the wild of your unknowns.” – Morgan Harper Nichols

 

My dear colleagues,

 

Today, I officially leave the Emergency Department and transition to the Intensive Care Unit.  While I firmly believe this was the correct decision for me, it is difficult to leave an area in which I have grown to love and one where the patients and my colleagues have taught me so much. An area where we treat everything from dandruff to the most severe traumas all in one day.  The shut of the ER doors locking behind me today felt so final; but also, it felt surprisingly okay, because the ED taught me how to embrace change.

 

In the marginally controlled chaos of the ED, you my dear colleagues and friends are, well, everything. Hilarious, dedicated, unrelenting in your advocacy, compassionate; all while simultaneously carrying the life, love, and hardships of your patients within your hearts when you leave.  I see you.  I am proud of you; I will never stop being proud of you.  You do the most amazing things every day.  

 

When I say my colleagues taught me many things, I mean a LOT of things. Some things are medically important; others were how to navigate life, and how to approach tricky ethical dilemmas.  I could fill pages here and bore you with everything you taught me, but I will keep the list to myself, and instead relay the most important one.  The lesson of surrender. 

 

When I first started working here, I would get hung up on outcomes, and become so easily overwhelmed.   I (hopefully, without letting on too much) resisted everything that felt uncomfortable and new.  In the beginning, a lot of it did – never before had I practiced in an area with such high stakes while knowing so little about the patient.  Letting go of any semblance of control felt like I was compromising care.  

 

That is until one of you told me that part of the art and the beauty of the ED was not knowing everything about the patient and being able to “fly a little blind.”  While there are difficult times and difficult decisions to be made, we do not define ourselves by these challenges.  The greater purpose and goal is and always has been to provide the best care for the patient.  As long as we keep that in mind, the result will be commendable.  You helped me realize that surrender does not mean calling it quits or compromising, it means that even in times of great risk and uncertainty, you put yourself in a position to trust. 

 

Therefore, I took a calculated risk to trust you, to learn from you, and work beside you.  It has come with such a great and immeasurable reward.  Without you, I would have never had the confidence to embrace this change and pursue this new opportunity. Further, I will never take your trust in me for granted.  Standing shoulder to shoulder with you on the front lines of medicine has been one of the greatest honors of my lifetime.  

 

With gratitude,

 

IP

 

Copr 2019 Inspired Pharmacist