Category: Resilience

The Most Troublesome Interview Question

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“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” – Robin Sharma

Residency interviews are upon us. It is a somewhat hectic time of year which requires everyone in the department to take on extra duties in order to support those who will be interviewing the candidates. I am grateful to work within a program that values training and preparing the future generation of pharmacists. I always look forward to the excitement surrounding this time of year! I guess you could join others and call me a nerd. As I sat down to compile the list of questions that will be asked of candidates this year, I recalled my least favorite one. It goes something like this… “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

Each time I was asked the question in my own interviews, I desperately wanted to say “Oh, I don’t know, let me get out my crystal ball for a consult.” Instead, I answered for my audience. It was a well-rehearsed speech about my career goals. I answered the question in the way I wanted to be perceived, i.e., career oriented, little focus on social life, non-time-consuming hobbies, work experience with X organization, blah, blah, blah. At the time, I gave very little thought to what a balanced life would mean.  This question did not tell the interviewer anything about me, anyway. After I answered, the interviewer was no closer to making a decision regarding my qualifications than before the question was asked.

Watching the unknown unfold, creating new short-term goals, and maintaining some measure of focus on the things that mattered most, was the best part of my college and residency tenure. The things I love most about my life now were definitely NOT in my ten-year plan. And so, nearly ten years from when I first answered the question that I still loathe, I am someone far different than who I thought I would be. Today, I hold a position within the profession of pharmacy I never imagined or knew was a possibility. When asked the question, I did not say anything about how much knowledge that I hoped to gain in my field, which seems odd to me now.

Thinking everything is figured out is a mistake. That sort of mindset will almost certainly haunt the “know it all” as the world crumples around them. The preferred question to ask is lengthy and probably too personal in an interview situation. “Where do you see yourself in 50 years?” In order to answer that question, one must likely ask themselves this follow-up question. “In 50 years, what will I wish I had done with my life?”

If one lives and dies by their ten-year plan, it might mean missing out on the fifty-year goals. When looked at over many years, exceeding in well thought-out ten-year goals sometimes means sacrificing the long-term goals. In other words, we need to look at the bigger picture. Ten-year goals are self-centered. Fifty-year goals, then, are the ones that may take a lifetime to build, the opportunities that may take years of courage to complete, and the things people often regret not doing. They also include how you affected those you come in contact with. I will be honest…it is so difficult to live in a manner that focuses on the fifty-year plan. Believe me, mine is a work in progress.

The fifty-year plan requires vulnerability in order to create a legacy. So, go ahead and ask me “where do you want to be in 50 years?” I can already tell you! In my big picture, I am old and telling stories of the places I have traveled, the risks I have taken that paid off, and those that did not. I am confident I will be imparting life lessons learned through experience and will have created a legacy that remains on the Earth long after I depart from it. I hope those around me will remember how much I loved them, and how I choose meaningful relationships instead of a rote ten-year plan.

In short, I will not be asking the question “where do you see yourself in ten years” this interview season. Moreover, this week I encourage you to come up with a plan for those missing 40 years. I will be sure to let you know how my fifty-year plan turns out…. if blogging is even a thing in 2070!

©2020 Inspired Pharmacist

Reach Out

IP2 Comments

If you want to end your isolation, you must be honest about what you want at a core level and decide to go after it. – Martha Buck

Mrs. C* was 96 when I met her. She arrived to us from a nursing home after the staff called EMS for altered mental status. As soon as they walked out of the room, she yelled to the nurse, “I’m not really sick, I just had to get out of there, those people are driving me nuts.” Realizing it may be a while before someone from the nursing home could come get her, the nurses sat her in a chair at the nurse’s station near my desk. She said hello to everyone who walked by. To me, she seemed eccentric! She had bright pink hair, fiery red nails, and insisted on wearing a leopard print robe instead of a hospital issued gown. When I complimented her on her attire, she said, “What can I say, I just love beautiful things.” She spoke in such a way that it made me want to continue listening. All of the sudden, I started imagining she had been an actress in her life before the nursing home stay. Her theatrical skills, more than any illness had brought her to the hospital.

She told me about her children, how they lived far away, and about how the workers in the nursing home meant well, but often left her alone for hours at a time. She told me she felt so isolated from the world, and that this, her trip to the hospital, was the highlight of her month. It was interesting to me that surrounded by others, she could still feel isolated. She felt isolated because the deep relationships and companionship she so desperately desired were not present.

At some point after my interaction with Mrs. C, I read that isolation is more detrimental than some chronic diseases and increases the risk of mortality more than smoking. It is not just the elderly who are affected. It is also the poor, the bullied, the grieving, the people on the margins of society, and the rejected. Many people who are lonely and isolated, are too intimidated to speak up and form relationships even though that is what they ultimately desire. The most remarkable statistic…a heartbreaking statistic…25% of Americans have no meaningful social support. TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT without one single person they can confide in, the statistics are staggering.

I am sure there are a million and one things that contribute to this statistic – smart phones, long commutes, work hours, and distractions to name a few. Basically, life in the twenty-first century. After reading those statistics, it has become increasingly more important to me to help break the pattern. Why? Because personal relationships and a connectedness with others impacts human resilience. Personal relationships require communication, encouragement, reassurance and trust. Our personal relationships provide the security of knowing that others will be there when we need them, and likewise we will be there when they need us.

Many would have been irritated with Mrs. C’s constant interruption in their work schedule and the waste of resources she occupied during transport to and from the hospital. However, what I realized after my interaction with her was that her isolation WAS an emergency. So, I’ll leave you with this piece of advice. Work to fill up someone’s emotional cup this week. If you are feeling lonely or isolated, open yourself up to the love of the people in your life. Check on or get to know your neighbors. It may not be easy, neither will it be perfect, but perhaps in time the abyss will begin to fill. Be a healer…the cure could be as simple as conversation. Sometimes, medicine is not about medicine at all!

*Name and some patient information changed to protect the privacy of others

©2019 Inspired Pharmacist

https://doi.org/10.1177%2F000312240607100301

Transformed

IP

I was reading some OLD material, and thought my 15 year old self had something insightful to share.  I hope you enjoy this throwback.

Transformed

A cozy cottage placed serenely on a hill
Stood tall in the shade of a magnolia tree.
There, hopes and dreams were stored,

 

Laughter painted the walls

And meadowlarks sang,

Childhood innocence filled the air.

 

Friendships were formed and nurtured,

And the tiny dwelling watched it all,

Waiting patiently for my return.

 

Now, when grown-up frustrations overwhelm,

My mind takes me back

To that enchanted childhood playhouse,

 

Where faded hopes and dreams once again become

As bright and shimmering as summer’s sun,

And against the backdrop of today’s reality

 

I am transformed

Leave a comment: What childhood memories transform you?

© 2019 Inspired Pharmacist

Hail Mary

IP

You can’t outwit fate by trying to stand on the sidelines and place little side bets about the outcome.  Either you wade in and risk everything to play the game, or you don’t play at all.  And if you don’t play, you can’t win. -Judith McNaught

Football season is in full swing around the Midwest.  I have spent many weekends recently on the sidelines watching the team my husband volunteers to coach.  Because I did not grow up watching football, and my high school did not have its own team, this has all been a learning experience.  I am slowly growing to appreciate the game. Notably, I am now critically evaluating how I believe the game could be better played and what penalties I would like to see enforced.  (I am frequently annoyed by the time outs at the end of the game! Illegal time out, anyone?) The play I now love to see incorporated in a game is better known as the “Hail Mary.”  Football is not really my thing, so I never gathered the true meaning of the term until a physician used it to describe the treatment plan for Mrs. C.*

 I had just received a call about her minutes before – “need you in the ER for a code.” When I walked into the room, the physician said, “she’s only 45, so I’m not going to call it, yet. What else can we do?”  I quickly went through my arsenal of ideas, slowly eliminating each one from my mental checklist of options, except for one.  “We could try this treatment,” I said.  “I’m thinking it will have a low probability of a good outcome, but based on what you are telling me, it makes sense to use it in this case.” The physician said, “it sounds like a Hail Mary, but we have to try.”  

 The physician was correct.  It was a Hail Mary play in the truest sense. A desperate measure to resolve a serious problem at the very last minute.  It was unlikely to be successful.  Truly, divine intervention would be needed for the treatment to succeed.  Therefore, I prepared the drug and hoped that against all odds it would work.  We had no other choice.  The treatment did not seem so risky when all other options were exhausted.

 When the nurse gave the medication, I prayed.  With every pulse check and every blip on the cardiac monitor, I prayed harder.  I kept my hand diligently on the femoral artery, anticipating that at any moment I would feel something other than my own pounding heartbeat. I prayed harder.

 As we left the room that day, the physician said, “Well, we did everything we could.”  He was right; we did it all, and then some.  It is at that exact moment when I realized that many times in our lives we are all faced with a decision of whether or not to take a risk. Not all of these risks are matters of life and death. Sometimes it is taking a new job, moving positions within the same organization, starting a new business, or just doing something outside your comfort zone.   Greatness requires risk.  Whether or not you are successful, the risk will stretch you and give you confidence in yourself and the faith to try again the next time.  

 I now understand why the “Hail Mary” pass is so important.  Whether or not the risk was worth it in the end does not matter.  What matters is leaving it all on the field.  You cannot expect to win if you give up.  Never leave the room thinking you could have given more.  

 

How will you identify the daily “Hail Mary” opportunities in your life?

 

 © 2019 Inspired Pharmacist

*Name and some details changed to protect the privacy of others.