Author: IP

PharmD. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Dog mom. Blogger.

The 33 Things I Know To Be True After My 33rd Year!

IP

It’s my birthday week! I always become slightly more introspective around this time of year. So, this week, I thought I would describe the 33 things I know to be true after my 33rd year.

1. Everything can change in an instant and especially when it is unexpected. These are the defining moments that forever mark our lives. It is what divides the before and after in our life calendars.

2. Doing nothing is quite okay. Always being busy is a drug, and not the helpful kind. Trying to fill our days with “important” tasks often leads to burnout. Try doing nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, and see how effective it can be.

3. Personal relationships are worth the effort, whether married or single.

4. Believe it or not, differences in opinion make the world better. However, one caveat, bizarre differences or those that effect the self-esteem or self-worth of others should be expressed with caution or eliminated.

5. Being grateful and regularly thinking about thankfulness increases happiness. My grandmother was right when she said, “be grateful for what you have and stop thinking about what you don’t have.”

6. One should never stop learning.

7. Likewise, one of the best feelings in the world is passing learned knowledge on to others.

8. If you REALLY want something, you have to work for it and figure out a way to make it happen. If you don’t get it the first time around, work harder. There’s an easy way to tell if someone truly wants something and it will seem so obvious after I say it, but it took me a long time to discover. It is this, those who really want something do not make excuses.

9. It is okay to say no. It is not rude despite the fact that I often perceived it that way in the past. No simply means that I know my worth and respect myself enough to stand up for what I believe in.

10. Early mornings are sacred. I am slowly becoming a morning person. I have found recently that early mornings are when I get the most things accomplished for myself.

11. Quiet time outdoors does wonders for the soul. There are no “influencers” there. Life can be seen in its truest form. So, sit on the front porch or deck, take a walk through the woods, or simply sit under a tree. The calmness is freeing.

12. Do not compare yourself to anyone else. My very wise mother once told me, “nobody is good at everything.” What I can do is the best I can and rest easy knowing I gave it my all.

13. We all have something we do BEST, try to find it! It does not necessarily mean you will be the greatest in the world at it, but it will give you something to lean on when tough times hit.

14. Be a planner!!!! Life becomes infinitely easier. Do not wing it and hope for the best.

15. Make the right decisions. Take the fear out of it. Ask yourself, will I regret not doing this in the next 5, 10, etc. years? If the answer is yes, then you have found the answer.

16. Coffee should always be iced. Cold water, cold beer, cold soda, why shouldn’t coffee also be?

17. Good cooking is easy if you have money, time and a recipe.

18. Some people are just mean. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

19. Big dreams lead to big results. See #8 about really wanting something.

20. The best way to become something is to let someone in on your dream. Suddenly, the path becomes clearer and the vision more realistic. But, see #21.

21. Say it with me: “NOBODY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ACHIEVING MY DREAMS, BUT ME!” Just because I let someone in on it, does not mean they should help to achieve it.

22. Always say hello and smile at everyone. Something so simple might just change a life.

23. Hope is worth so much more than gold. It is the only thing that makes difficult situations bearable.

24. Most of the time, complaining is gross. Figure out a way to change the situation if it is not acceptable.

25. Error on the side of quirky. There is value in “weirdness.” I am positive some of the best things in life were the result of a quirky idea.

26. Ask for forgiveness when a mistake is made.

27. I am not the first to say this, but find it to be exceptionally true…find three things you love: one that makes you money, one to keep you healthy, and one to keep you creative.

28. Humor is essential for happiness. The sound of laughter is more contagious than any sneeze. Laughter binds us together….enough said!

29. There is enough sunlight for everyone. So, cheer for those around you. Their success does not mean you have failed.

30. Success is NOT a straight line. Most successful people zig-zag or take a wrong path, or two. Keep going until you find the right one.

31. Experiences are infinitely better than stuff. They also provide better memories.

32. The “karma train” is real. All aboard!

33. No accomplishment or recognition can replace truly loving and accepting yourself.

Reach Out

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If you want to end your isolation, you must be honest about what you want at a core level and decide to go after it. – Martha Buck

Mrs. C* was 96 when I met her. She arrived to us from a nursing home after the staff called EMS for altered mental status. As soon as they walked out of the room, she yelled to the nurse, “I’m not really sick, I just had to get out of there, those people are driving me nuts.” Realizing it may be a while before someone from the nursing home could come get her, the nurses sat her in a chair at the nurse’s station near my desk. She said hello to everyone who walked by. To me, she seemed eccentric! She had bright pink hair, fiery red nails, and insisted on wearing a leopard print robe instead of a hospital issued gown. When I complimented her on her attire, she said, “What can I say, I just love beautiful things.” She spoke in such a way that it made me want to continue listening. All of the sudden, I started imagining she had been an actress in her life before the nursing home stay. Her theatrical skills, more than any illness had brought her to the hospital.

She told me about her children, how they lived far away, and about how the workers in the nursing home meant well, but often left her alone for hours at a time. She told me she felt so isolated from the world, and that this, her trip to the hospital, was the highlight of her month. It was interesting to me that surrounded by others, she could still feel isolated. She felt isolated because the deep relationships and companionship she so desperately desired were not present.

At some point after my interaction with Mrs. C, I read that isolation is more detrimental than some chronic diseases and increases the risk of mortality more than smoking. It is not just the elderly who are affected. It is also the poor, the bullied, the grieving, the people on the margins of society, and the rejected. Many people who are lonely and isolated, are too intimidated to speak up and form relationships even though that is what they ultimately desire. The most remarkable statistic…a heartbreaking statistic…25% of Americans have no meaningful social support. TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT without one single person they can confide in, the statistics are staggering.

I am sure there are a million and one things that contribute to this statistic – smart phones, long commutes, work hours, and distractions to name a few. Basically, life in the twenty-first century. After reading those statistics, it has become increasingly more important to me to help break the pattern. Why? Because personal relationships and a connectedness with others impacts human resilience. Personal relationships require communication, encouragement, reassurance and trust. Our personal relationships provide the security of knowing that others will be there when we need them, and likewise we will be there when they need us.

Many would have been irritated with Mrs. C’s constant interruption in their work schedule and the waste of resources she occupied during transport to and from the hospital. However, what I realized after my interaction with her was that her isolation WAS an emergency. So, I’ll leave you with this piece of advice. Work to fill up someone’s emotional cup this week. If you are feeling lonely or isolated, open yourself up to the love of the people in your life. Check on or get to know your neighbors. It may not be easy, neither will it be perfect, but perhaps in time the abyss will begin to fill. Be a healer…the cure could be as simple as conversation. Sometimes, medicine is not about medicine at all!

*Name and some patient information changed to protect the privacy of others

©2019 Inspired Pharmacist

https://doi.org/10.1177%2F000312240607100301

Transformed

IP

I was reading some OLD material, and thought my 15 year old self had something insightful to share.  I hope you enjoy this throwback.

Transformed

A cozy cottage placed serenely on a hill
Stood tall in the shade of a magnolia tree.
There, hopes and dreams were stored,

 

Laughter painted the walls

And meadowlarks sang,

Childhood innocence filled the air.

 

Friendships were formed and nurtured,

And the tiny dwelling watched it all,

Waiting patiently for my return.

 

Now, when grown-up frustrations overwhelm,

My mind takes me back

To that enchanted childhood playhouse,

 

Where faded hopes and dreams once again become

As bright and shimmering as summer’s sun,

And against the backdrop of today’s reality

 

I am transformed

Leave a comment: What childhood memories transform you?

© 2019 Inspired Pharmacist

Doormats and Diplomats

IP

“Value yourself.  The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes.” – Leo F. Buscaglia

My mom has told me many times in life “don’t be a doormat.” I know this phrase probably did not originate with her.  I attribute it to her, however, because when I say it to myself I hear her voice in my head. I did not always know what she meant by this lesson she tried to teach me growing up.

I met Mr. D* after he had tripped over a rug… fitting story, I know. It was not surprising; I had seen his name pop up multiple times before. This time, he had dislocated his hip and we needed to put it back in place. He was also drunk.  He said to us, “I guess the welcome is all worn out of that rug…it’s demanding!  When I get home, I’m going to tell it to leave me alone because I ain’t no doormat.”

After chuckling to myself for a few minutes about what he had said, I thought more about how true his statement really was.  Obviously, I do not mean talking to the rug.  I mean in relation to what my mom always said about not being a doormat.  I started thinking about how sometimes the “welcome” of our relationships are worn.  Sometimes, in order to be “nice” we let others boss us around without acknowledging that it is not in our best interest (or professionally, in the best interest of our patient).  We try to adapt to what everyone else wants so much that we feel if we do not do what he or she wants, they will think less of us.

What a bunch of bologna we tell ourselves.  In general, this is probably something I have worked on or struggled with my entire life. This is my own “rug” that I keep tripping over.  I have to tell it a lot to leave me alone.  I frequently grapple with how to be kind, generous, and loving without being taken advantage of in the process.  I have come up with a few strategies in my own life to combat this reality of my personality.

The first thing I had to realize was that sometimes the best way to love others means saying “no.”  It is not easy.  The first time I disagreed with a physician as a student, I was petrified.  However, that physician respected me a whole lot more than if I had just agreed.  He became my chief ally, and I his…mutual respect gained from truthful discourse.

Another thing that has helped me, is creating time and space for myself.  By doing so, I am able to be alone with my thoughts and consider how something may affect me.  The best phrase I have learned over the years is to just say “let me think about it.”  It usually curbs the want for an immediate answer, lets the other person know the proposal will be considered, and provides time to analyze the consequences.

Now, I think I know what my mom really meant when she said, “stand up for yourself, don’t be a doormat.”  I like to imagine her giving me a much more robust pep talk.  It goes something like this.  “So what if you accidentally tripped over your own rug.  You don’t get to just stay there and let people walk all over you.  At the end of the day, the same people who just trampled you will still complain you are not flat enough. There you’ll be, covered in their grime and sniffing their smelly shoes with nothing to show for it.”

Love everyone, be kind, but set boundaries.  Do not let others drag you down with them.  Do not succumb to such foolishness.  Love from afar, if necessary, but love just the same.

*Name and some details changed to protect the privacy of others

© 2019 Inspired Pharmacist

National Drug Take Back Day

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled inspirational programming to bring you a special announcement. Today, October 26, 2019 is National Prescription Drug Take Back Day!

The goal of this initiative is to provide a safe responsible way to dispose of unused or expired prescription medications. Remember, the majority of abused prescription medications are obtained from the medicine cabinets of family or friends.

Here are some local collection sites:

You can learn more or find additional collection sites here: https://takebackday.dea.gov/

Let me know if you dropped your medications off in the comments below!

Do something good for your community, today.

-IP

Seasons of Love

IP

The leaves are about to show us how lovely it is to let things go. – Unknown

Recently, we cared for an elderly woman who presented with a massive stroke. When it was clear she would not make it, I heard her husband say to the chaplain “we have been married 70 and ½ years, and I say the ½, because like a kid I was really looking forward to 71.”

The vivid yellows, oranges and reds of autumn foliage were just beginning to appear.  I noticed them on the way to work that day. For me, fall always brings about an acute awareness of the passage of time.  It also reminds me that not all things are for all seasons.

I grew up gazing in awe at the wooded hillside bluffs of Pike County, IL painted with warm fire-like fall colors.  I used to stand outside in the cool crisp air astounded and humbled by the sight. I would watch the trees day to day and notice how the leaves would dramatically change and eventually drop. As a younger person, I would wish for beautiful leaves year round.  Now, I understand this universal principal: in order to grow, we must release something.  Hanging on to what can no longer be possible hinders our development.

While the leaves teach us the beauty of letting go, they also remind us to celebrate the loveliness of how we have grown in the previous seasons of life.  Like the leaves, we have a limited time here on earth. We MUST continually evaluate our purpose and reignite our passions.

As I looked at the patient’s husband, so near to losing a woman who was obviously the love of his life, I was overcome with joy as he lovingly said to her, “I wouldn’t have traded a single day with you.” To them I would like to say, thank you for sharing the beauty of your marriage vocation.  Thank you for briefly showing us the legacy your children will inherit and paving the way for a new generation. We should cherish and enjoy our relationships while we still have time. Like leaves on the trees, you reminded those of us lucky enough to be in the room that letting go can be beautiful. How blessed I am to witness and acknowledge the seasons of change.

Leave a comment: What are some beautiful things in your life that you’ve let go of, and how have they helped you to change and grow?

© 2019 Inspired Pharmacist

*Name and some details changed to protect the privacy of others.